Firstly, in the past I have worn a lot of hats or identities. Para, Diver, Climber, Engineer, Soldier, Brother and Trainer to name a few. And I have treated people in a certain way because of their identity, rank, position or views, actually its really common. Treated them according to their position and not their person, its hard not to.
If you treat people as positions and not humans you can justify treating them badly (this is talked about in depth in the book the anatomy of peace). So try not to treat your staff as advisors, trainers, consultants, assistants, if you do it will justify your poor behaviour to them. Instead treat them as humans first. Give it a go - I dare you!
What about treating your wife or husband as a human first, again try it... don't add all of the relationship baggage
I remember growing up with people in Wales and once they where Army Para trained (maroon beret) they changed and wouldn't talk to me anymore, or pals once they where posted to the Army Dive School, they changed their attitude towards me in a bad way . Not complaining, its human nature and Army ego. JFK treated even the janitor the same as the boss, a great value. He visited NASA and made a be line for the janitor, asking how he was doing. The janitor said "I'm helping put on a man on the moon"-awesome.
Treat everyone like the CEO and treat the CEO like everyone, trust me most will appreciate it.
If you wear your identity on your sleeve and someone criticises your identity/job or position it you can feel like they are criticising you personally. So at work for example if you get negative feedback it can make you feel very unhappy.
Its easy to bulletproof your happiness and build resilience by just not identifying as anything that can be taken away. Its a challenge but one that can bring happiness and stop you feeling bad.
For example if I identified solely as trainer, and some one was critical of my session it would ruin my day, stop me sleeping and upset me. So now I just love learning and growth.
If I identify as a senior manager, I may act outside of my personal values of friendliness, kindness or being approachable to fit in with my identity. Studies have shown that acting outside of your values is bad for your health and destroys your values, such as humility.
Try and remove your identities for a happier more carefree live.
If you treat people as positions and not humans you can justify treating them badly (this is talked about in depth in the book the anatomy of peace). So try not to treat your staff as advisors, trainers, consultants, assistants, if you do it will justify your poor behaviour to them. Instead treat them as humans first. Give it a go - I dare you!
What about treating your wife or husband as a human first, again try it... don't add all of the relationship baggage
I remember growing up with people in Wales and once they where Army Para trained (maroon beret) they changed and wouldn't talk to me anymore, or pals once they where posted to the Army Dive School, they changed their attitude towards me in a bad way . Not complaining, its human nature and Army ego. JFK treated even the janitor the same as the boss, a great value. He visited NASA and made a be line for the janitor, asking how he was doing. The janitor said "I'm helping put on a man on the moon"-awesome.
Treat everyone like the CEO and treat the CEO like everyone, trust me most will appreciate it.
If you wear your identity on your sleeve and someone criticises your identity/job or position it you can feel like they are criticising you personally. So at work for example if you get negative feedback it can make you feel very unhappy.
Its easy to bulletproof your happiness and build resilience by just not identifying as anything that can be taken away. Its a challenge but one that can bring happiness and stop you feeling bad.
For example if I identified solely as trainer, and some one was critical of my session it would ruin my day, stop me sleeping and upset me. So now I just love learning and growth.
If I identify as a senior manager, I may act outside of my personal values of friendliness, kindness or being approachable to fit in with my identity. Studies have shown that acting outside of your values is bad for your health and destroys your values, such as humility.
Try and remove your identities for a happier more carefree live.
Your identity can weaken you and identities can also damage communication
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