9 Tips for Self Confidence

There is a massive self confidence shortage in the UK and I am hoping to help a little with these tips.  I help shy, anxious and nervous people every day and assist the into being their best selves.
​BECAUSE its just a process after all.

Cultivated confidence or lack there off has been caused to you and by you.  Perhaps negative self talk telling you can't do it or others always telling you that you can't do something has sunk in.
So if you listen to the negativity and start believing that you can't do something....You're right.

"What ever you believe you're right"

The good news is, if you start building a positivity habit and reframing negatives into positives and adopting confidence hacks daily not only can you change you will....   
It is like a confidence snowball.

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"THESE TIPS WILL WORK IF YOU FOLLOW THEM SERIOUSLY"

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1. Deep breathing, box breathing, colour breathing or similar each morning and before anything important.  The significance of proper deep breathing shouldn't be ignored, it immediately takes you into safety or the correct nervous system, this in turn allows you to make good decisions and not over react emotionally.  Basically breathing calms you and allows you to think clearly and sleep better.  whilst experiencing an anxious thought -spend 2 minutes deep breathing straight away.
2. Remove dislikes or negativity/ negative people.  Simply make a list of likes and dislikes and the things that make you unhappy or angry.  Plan more of the things that make you happy, and remove or stop doing the things that make you feel sad or angry.  This could be the action of removing your rear view mirror or not looking back on past events, as each time we look back to sad or bad events we are literally damaging our health again (like poisoning our selves).  Stop watching the news or visiting that negative relative.
3. Affirmations / verbal loud or written statements telling you positive things such as: a) "I can do this" b) "I am strong and will beat this" c) "I will be great today".  Anything that you need to boost yourself.  If done daily on the way to work, driving, after breakfast or in a diary it can make real positive changes.  Do this verbally for a month and notice massive changes to your personality and how you feel about yourself, especially with self confidence.  Experts suggest it takes 4/5 positives to remove a negative in our lives, so you really have to reframe all negative thoughts and chat.
4. Preparation and rehearsals  So lacking in confidence for a job interview is caused by lack of interview question preparation and rehearsal.  In turn we feel threatened go into flight mode and are unable to answer any question effectively.  To change this spend lots of time verbally rehearsing anything important you would like to say, which allows us to answer questions clearly as we don't feel panicked.  We are in the right nervous system and our human brain is answering the question rather than the chimp brain. "Chimps flunk Interviews"
5. Confidence crib card  If you need a confidence boost for anything create a small card that fits into a wallet or purse to be pulled out when we need it.  4 quadrants with with your personal confidence boosters 1) written past successes 2) your short term SMART goal 3) your transferable skills such as communication, kindness, attention to detail for example 4) gratitude, so what you are thankful for in life, your health, kids etc
6. Audio rehearsal  this is perfect if you are prepping for a interview, presentation or big meeting with the boss.  Record yourself answering all important expected questions, this will make all of the language easily available when required and make you feel safe.
7. Incantations  Incantation or a loud verbal affirmation whilst, deep breathing and  slapping, tapping or rubbing your body work so powerfully if done every day.  Perhaps done safely whilst driving to work or after breakfast or before big meeting "TRY IT"
8. ​Exposure to fear  More time spent in or near what scares us makes it seem less scary every single day and builds confidence.  So if you are scared of public speaking try doing it alone in the house, then in the mirror,  then in front of 1 person and then on Youtube etc etc.  This is related to being in stretch or slightly scared whilst developing as a human.  Without exposure to fear we will be stuck in the comfort zone and afraid of everything around us forever.  "If we always do what we've always got, we always get what ew have always got"
9. Body Language If you make yourself small, avoid eye contact, talk quietly, cross arms and legs, cover your mouth whilst talking and breath high in the chest then you are literally making yourself scared and not confident.  Try reading a statement in the house with the above fear body language and then try it doing the opposite.  1) make yourself tall 2) talk loudly as you all of the time 3) breath deeply 4) open body posture.  Changing posture can change your life!

.....Basically our cultivated lack of self confidence can be reprogrammed and cultivated for huge self confidence with time.  For example think of the shy, nervous anxious recruits that join the Army and then 12 weeks later after basic training these recruits have grown physically and mentally beyond all recognition by family and friends.  Conditioned to believe in themselves, simple really.  WE CAN ALL DO IT -WE CAN ALL BE MORE CONFIDENT-TRULY.

Good luck trying these techniques for some extra inspiration watch this  .....